oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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