I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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