it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
