the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
