Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
