Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
