I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
