ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
