if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
