Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
