I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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