get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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