Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
