We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
