susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
