There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
