I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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