i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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