There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
