You were right. It hurts to walk today.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
someone owes me an orgasm
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
