I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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