We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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