Barsexuality is the new black.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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