called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
