Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
