She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
