I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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