is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
