I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
