Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
