Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
