I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
