never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
