you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
