I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
