I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
