Plan B is the new Plan A
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
