did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
