I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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