If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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