So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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