ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
