Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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