I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
