So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
