god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
