my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
