i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
