i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I want to be your penis for a week.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
