That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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