She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
